As we know, men and women run on two entirely different operating systems. Men think about sex approximately 8,874 times a day whereas women wonder when they will get their next back rub. Men crave sex as a necessary life staple, like oxygen, or bacon. Women like to save it for special occasions, like the return of Hailey's comet. Add to this disparity the presence of kids and therein lies a marital challenge and the question, "How did I get here?"
Married over twenty years and the father of three kids, I know as much as the next guy about relationships and the family dynamic, which is to say, nothing. I'll interpret my wife's expression as bedroom eyes when, in reality, she's suffering the early manifestation of a growing intestinal disorder. While familiarity breeds children, children, in turn, create distance, competition for time and highly disappointing misinterpretations.
Gone are those kid-less days of yesteryear, replaced by endless soccer games, school plays, juice boxes and a Cheerios littered minivan. Kids, as wonderful as they may be, will do everything in their power to suck the last calorie of energy from your body. And that leaves little in the tank for initiating amorous spousal relations. By the time you've resolved sibling disputes, fed, bathed and tucked them in, you can just about stay awake for the opening credits of that PG-13 romantic comedy you rented. Even if you can stay awake, there's the constant threat of childus interuptus. What's a romance to do?
|