... He can read minds, so it must be true. Greg Grunberg, who filled his five-season break from Lost with a role on Heroes, says NBC muffed up Heroes' chances. The show has hit series lows this season, and Grunberg, who plays Matt Parkman, blames poor scheduling and marketing for the drop. When in reality it was just atrocious writing. [digital spy]

... Booty call for Barney: Jennifer Lopez will make a guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother sometime in March. Jennifah will play a self-help author who teaches women how to control men through denial. Her mission: to break Barney's womanizing ways. Good luck, sister. [CBS]

... The unfeeling robot that is NBC may finally be learning human emotions. NBC exec Jeff Gaspin beeped at a conference, "I went to Conan, to Jay, to Jimmy with a very logical, rational plan. I explained it to the press. I wasn't trying to hide anything. And I think [we] underestimated the emotional impact it had on Conan, in particular." Gee, ya think? [NY Times]

... Yo! That scream of joy you heard came from the owner of Jersey Shore's favorite tanning salon. The cast of the reality hit is close to finalizing terms for a second season, with MTV upping their offer to $10,000 per cast member per episode. Which is about $9,990 more than they deserve. [THR]

... Kiefer Sutherland is in the news again, and it's not for being hammered or dressing like a woman. But it isn't good either. Sutherland was reportedly the victim of a Ponzi scheme and may have lost out on almost $900,000, or approximately 90 Snookis. Time to call Patty Hewes. [TMZ]

... Martha Stewart is moving her show from syndication to The Hallmark Channel. What, you want a joke about Martha? Hasn't she been through enough already? [LA Times]